Anyone who has been a member of an online dating site has seen one.
And then they’ve showed their friends who aren’t on the dating site, who cringe and ask them why they bother.
I’m talking about that awful online dating profile that is so bad, its hilarious.
There’s a certain skill when it comes to writing an Online Dating Profile, and its much like a Work Resume.
You cant consider it the same, but its very similar in that you are marketing yourself to someone that you want to be with.
And think of it this way, look how many jobs you apply to and don’t get a response from until you tweak your resume for that perfect job?
You just need to market your profile to the perfect person!
Here’s a list of things that will leave you sad and lonely on the internet if you include them in your profile:
- Profiles that are all in CAPITAL LETTERS OR with egregious spellin erirs and/or missing words sentences.
If you, as a fully grown adult are unable to properly formulate a sentence (especially given spellcheck and technology nowadays) then I don’t know what to tell you.
Except, this is why you are single.
- Opening your profile bio with a dirty joke or a dick comment.
Majority of people don’t want to hear a dick or fart joke when they get introduced to someone, so why should online dating be any different?
- Always put up a profile picture, and make sure its less then 4 years old.
You realize anything older than that is just setting yourself up for failure, right? Most laptops and desktops come with webcam capabilities,
so even if its a crappy cam pic, its still a RECENT photo, which is what people want. Otherwise they’ll wonder what else you’ve lied about.
Speaking of pics, avoid references to any ‘dick pics’ until you’ve at least chatted with the person for a bit.
You may be turning away a great match just because you are desperate to show off the goods!
- Talk about treating someone like a princess. You WILL end up with one, and it wont be pretty.
- Talk about how you are just looking for a ‘friend’ and to see where things go. You are on a dating site, not a friend finding site.
- Talk about being fresh out of a relationship.
If you don’t care that the only responses you’ll get are from clingy types who want to help you ‘move on’, then by all means, add this tidbit in!
- Any username that has anything to do with sex. If you want nothing but one night stands and booty calls, then this is fine. Ish.
As long as you let them come to you, otherwise you’ll come across as a creeper.
- Complaints about yourself or others. Nobody wants to hang with or date a Debbie Downer. Its fine to be unhappy with certain features (nobody’s prefect), but your dating profile page is not the place to be airing them out.
- Social Media. Do you want a bunch of random creepers adding you on Facebook and then having to explain to Mum who they are?
- Unanswered questions. If you cant be bothered to fill in most of the questions on your profile, don’t be surprised when we cant be bothered to look longer than a minute and move on.
The biggest thing of all? Don’t lie. The person WILL eventually find out, and then you’ll be screwed. Just be nice and upfront and honest!
And you know what, if all else fails, ask a friend to help you write yours! They know the best and worst of your personality, so they should be able to
help you put together a great one!
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