What is Love? Most of us know what it is NOT. It’s not always on time or in our time. It is not always simple, although sometimes it is. It says one thing and means another and it always disappoints us at one time or another.
So the real question is, why is it that we can’t live without it? Writers write about it. Singers sing about it and if we’re lucky, it is the first impression we have of this world.
Although some of us don’t welcome love into our lives–sometimes others remain haunted by it and are too scared to move on with their lives because they are constantly reminded of their ghosts of ex boyfriend’s/girlfriend’s past.
Dating Tip # 1: Get Rid of Past Mementos
Photos, holiday cards and even that bottle of perfume he bought for you can actually open up old wounds and continue to remind you of negative emotions associated with your ex. Clean out your apartment, car, and office of all mementos and objects you associate with your former partner. If you can’t part with them, give them to a friend who will keep it away for you in storage.
Dating Tip # 2: Release Your Inner Anger
If you are consistently haunted by an ex lover, you most likely have unresolved anger towards them. That’s okay, but if you don’t deal with the residual anger constructively, you can’t let go of your past. The most essential part of exorcising your ex from your mind and your heart is to release the inner demons. Try writing a really honest and angry letter to that person – and then throw it away. Or go to the quietest and isolated location where no one can hear or see you and yell at him or her at the top of your lungs until you’ve said absolutely everything you need to say and have gotten it all off your chest.
Dating Tip # 3: Throw Out Every Mariah Carey Album You Own
From my own personal experience, listening to Mariah Carey’s sappy love ballads towards her exes do not and will not help the healing process of getting over an ex-lover. Almost all of her albums focus on break ups–the same goes for Adele.
Dating Tip # 4: Stop Embracing The “Old You”
Sometimes when we carry old wounds, we behave in the present as if that relationship or situation is still going on. Your current partner may find him or herself in a relationship with “the old you” rather than the improved, evolved person you should be aiming to be. Live in the present, examine your current relationships and situation, and change your behavior to fit the way things actually are right now.
Dating Tip # 5: Seek A Professional Therapist
If you are really feeling distressed, angry, or upset, or if you feel as if the past is preventing you from moving on, I strongly encourage you to enlist the assistance the ultimate exorcist: a relationship counselor or therapist. Another person’s perspective can help you move on with your life so you can live a happy life without being constantly haunted by your past.
