Admit it, we have all had a fight or two with our partners where we haven’t exactly played fair, whether its by bringing up a past argument, or walking away before the fight has been settled. These kinds of fights can happen, but the problem is when ALL of your fights turn out like this. A relationship should always be 50/50, and when a person starts bringing name calling, or passing the blame off themselves onto the partner, the relationship clearly isn’t equal.
Where does the attitude come from? Usually, it stems from a fear of losing control. The fight could feel so large that they are afraid of where it might end up, and so the best idea at that point, is to blame someone else.The fear and frustration has to get out somehow, and unfortunately, it ends up directed at the people we care the most about. The best thing you can do in that situation is to stop and think: “Is this the person the real reason I am upset right now? What has really caused my bad mood?” If it’s not your partner, maybe you need to leave the room and take some alone time, to prevent a disagreement.
*Did you know: the act of blaming can trigger a burst of adrenalin in your body.*
In today’s society, if we don’t have someone or something to blame, we don’t feel that we can learn or grow. Its like in grade school when they tell you, ‘You have to make mistakes to learn.” This implies that there needs to be a catalyst to learn or improve from. We have been taught this from such a young age, it seems natural as an adult to think that in order to improve your relationship, there needs to be a mistake made. This is totally not true! You do not need any sort of action or situation to occur in order to better yourself! Have you ever read an educational book, just for fun? Have you ever done an activity just because you felt like it, and were surprised that you learned something? The same thing applies to relationships! You can make your relationship better without having a flaw to pick at.
Here are a few basic tips on how to fight fair in an argument:
Take responsibility
Accept that an argument takes two people, and try to understand how you have contributed to the current problem. You may not think that you started it, or even that you’ve done anything wrong, but acknowledging to your partner that you may have exacerbated the fight can help calm both parties down. As long as you don’t say it in a patronizing way, that is. Also, don’t threaten to end the relationship over one fight, or argue just so that you can win the argument. Sometimes, even if you are right, the best course of action is to let the person vent and let the fight die out on its own. Try to be respectful of your partner’s point of view, even if you do not necessarily agree with it. Respect and Responsibility can go a long way to smoothing over even the biggest fights.
Avoid Name Calling
Name calling is the worst and most immature thing you can do when fighting with your partner. Remember, names will never hurt you, but they can make people question your maturity level. Which will lead to the question, “Are they mature enough to handle an adult relationship?” Even using a pet name for your partner sarcastically can be considered immature, so its best to either use their actual name, or dont use one at all.
Dont Talk Down
Talking down to your partner can cause them to feel that you don’t view them as an equal. When you talk down to someone, it implies that you view them as inferior, stupid, or childish. This is not the way you want your relationship to go, so try to avoid using certain tones of voice or vocabulary when fighting. Talking condescendingly and attacking your partner personally won’t solve the current problem, and it makes you look low. Relationships are all about equality, remember?
Leave the past in the past
Arguments from months past still leaving you raw? DON’T bring them up in the heat of another argument. Letting issues pile and pile up until they burst out during a completely unrelated fight are a sure way to cause long-term problems. You are simply adding more fuel to an already growing flame, and it may get to the point where you can’t put it out. It is going to put your partner on the defense, and they will likely come back out swinging with mistakes that YOU have made. You are better off focusing on the issue at hand, and saving any lingering past problems for another time.
Friday, 28 November 2014
Thursday, 23 October 2014
Lachido Make Your Text And Online Relationship Reality
Do you remember when you first received a date via text message?
It was new and exciting and it probably occurred before the final episode of Sex And The City aired.
You saved it, cherished it and showed it to all your pals and held your phone like it was a trophy that deserved to be on a pedestal.
However, these days it seems like we have taken advantage of the convenience text messages have given us and have become slaves to the
laziness of pursuing or even breaking up with our romantic interests through text message, BBM and online.
Do you think I sound crazy? Just think about it for a second. How many times have you started a relationship through texting?
How many times have you been broken up with over a text? I bet you don’t want to admit it’s a number above zero and it most likely is.
It’s tragic but society has embraced the convenience of text messaging and because of that we have also unfortunately embraced infidelity,
booty calls and lack of physical contact because of it. To much of a good thing is never good and because of that we have become text-savvy robots in our real-life relationships.
Online Relationship Flaws
What has the world come to??
If you must put your feelings into words, make sure it comes from your own handwriting. If you want to know how somebody’s day is,
pick up your phone and call them if you need to break up with someone, please do so in person.
The more we keep embracing texting into our love lives, the more egotistical and superficial we will become– which will make it even
that much harder to find someone who we can spend the rest of our lives with.
Don’t let your textuality take over your thoughts, emotions and actions in your every day lives. Life is too short to be hiding behind your iPhones and Blackberrys.
It was new and exciting and it probably occurred before the final episode of Sex And The City aired.
You saved it, cherished it and showed it to all your pals and held your phone like it was a trophy that deserved to be on a pedestal.
However, these days it seems like we have taken advantage of the convenience text messages have given us and have become slaves to the
laziness of pursuing or even breaking up with our romantic interests through text message, BBM and online.
Do you think I sound crazy? Just think about it for a second. How many times have you started a relationship through texting?
How many times have you been broken up with over a text? I bet you don’t want to admit it’s a number above zero and it most likely is.
It’s tragic but society has embraced the convenience of text messaging and because of that we have also unfortunately embraced infidelity,
booty calls and lack of physical contact because of it. To much of a good thing is never good and because of that we have become text-savvy robots in our real-life relationships.
Online Relationship Flaws
What has the world come to??
If you must put your feelings into words, make sure it comes from your own handwriting. If you want to know how somebody’s day is,
pick up your phone and call them if you need to break up with someone, please do so in person.
The more we keep embracing texting into our love lives, the more egotistical and superficial we will become– which will make it even
that much harder to find someone who we can spend the rest of our lives with.
Don’t let your textuality take over your thoughts, emotions and actions in your every day lives. Life is too short to be hiding behind your iPhones and Blackberrys.
Friday, 26 September 2014
Lachido The Science of Attraction
The Science of Attraction (And The Rule of Opposites)
The old saying that ‘opposites attract’ has been around for years. But is it really true? Because there’s also the saying that ‘Birds of a feather flock together’. So which could it be, and is it possible that both can apply to relationships?
Surprising news; mabye neither apply! Our attraction may actually depend on your attachment style. According to recent studies, there are 4 different types of attachments in adults: secure, anxious–preoccupied, dismissive–avoidant, and fearful–avoidant (which tend to be combined into simply Avoidant.)
Not Sure which you are? Take a test here and find out!
Secure people tend to be comfortable slipping into relationships, and usually have a history of warm and responsive interactions with their partners. They have good outlooks on relationships and are not afraid to be alone or attached.
Anxious- preoccupied people tend to look for extremely high levels of intimacy in their relationships, and can usually have low self-esteem, and a fear that their partner will leave. So much so that they become preoccupied with the fear that one wrong move will incite a break up.
People who fall into the Dismissive- Avoidant category are the type who value their independence greatly, and also can be very defensive. They view themselves as not being needy and are quite proud of it, sometimes even avoiding relationships altogether as uneccessary.
The Fearful- Avoidant personalities are uncomfortable getting close to others, even though they may want to be. They crave, and fear intimacy at the same time. A lot of people of this type have been abused, or suffered significant losses in their lives.
A lot of people can subconsciously pick someone of an opposing attachment style as a way to ‘balance’ them out. Which is where the ‘opposites attract’ theory applies. A shy person may end up with a more outgoing person, and the shy person may be great with money, whereas the outgoing person is horrible at it. In these situations, a good balance is found.
And just because you aren’t alike in personality, doesn’t mean you aren’t similar in other ways, such as age, beliefs, education, nationality. Which is where we get to ‘Birds of a Feather Flock Together.’ You may think you are complete opposites, but there must have been some similarities to attract you to each other. So it would appear that both statements apply almost equally.
In the end, it doesn’t really matter whether you are polar opposites or two peas in a pod. What matters is how you handles your differences and adjust to them to complement each other as a couple. Remember to be open and accepting of each others differences, and embrace them. When you love someone, you love everything about them, good and bad.
The old saying that ‘opposites attract’ has been around for years. But is it really true? Because there’s also the saying that ‘Birds of a feather flock together’. So which could it be, and is it possible that both can apply to relationships?
Surprising news; mabye neither apply! Our attraction may actually depend on your attachment style. According to recent studies, there are 4 different types of attachments in adults: secure, anxious–preoccupied, dismissive–avoidant, and fearful–avoidant (which tend to be combined into simply Avoidant.)
Not Sure which you are? Take a test here and find out!
Secure people tend to be comfortable slipping into relationships, and usually have a history of warm and responsive interactions with their partners. They have good outlooks on relationships and are not afraid to be alone or attached.
Anxious- preoccupied people tend to look for extremely high levels of intimacy in their relationships, and can usually have low self-esteem, and a fear that their partner will leave. So much so that they become preoccupied with the fear that one wrong move will incite a break up.
People who fall into the Dismissive- Avoidant category are the type who value their independence greatly, and also can be very defensive. They view themselves as not being needy and are quite proud of it, sometimes even avoiding relationships altogether as uneccessary.
The Fearful- Avoidant personalities are uncomfortable getting close to others, even though they may want to be. They crave, and fear intimacy at the same time. A lot of people of this type have been abused, or suffered significant losses in their lives.
A lot of people can subconsciously pick someone of an opposing attachment style as a way to ‘balance’ them out. Which is where the ‘opposites attract’ theory applies. A shy person may end up with a more outgoing person, and the shy person may be great with money, whereas the outgoing person is horrible at it. In these situations, a good balance is found.
And just because you aren’t alike in personality, doesn’t mean you aren’t similar in other ways, such as age, beliefs, education, nationality. Which is where we get to ‘Birds of a Feather Flock Together.’ You may think you are complete opposites, but there must have been some similarities to attract you to each other. So it would appear that both statements apply almost equally.
In the end, it doesn’t really matter whether you are polar opposites or two peas in a pod. What matters is how you handles your differences and adjust to them to complement each other as a couple. Remember to be open and accepting of each others differences, and embrace them. When you love someone, you love everything about them, good and bad.
Friday, 22 August 2014
Lachido Long Distance Love
Long Distance Love
There are a myriad of reasons why long-distance relationships are more visible and common nowadays; more and more people are traveling for work and school, as well as the increased popularity of online relationships. The problem with these, though is how much more difficult it can be to maintain and build upon. Often times, people do not realize just how valuable it can be to have your partner right in front of you during serious discussions, or next to you at night while sleeping. A long distance relationship requires serious commitment and determination to make it work.
Set your Relationship Expectations
One thing that can be the source of a lot of disagreements and confusion is the level of commitment in the relationship. It is important that you both sit down and discuss your expectations before making any kind of decisions about the relationship. Both partners need to be on the same page as to whether you are in a serious, committed relationship, dating, friends with benefits, or casual and non-exclusive. Also, set a deadline of sorts, as to how long you will maintain the long distance. No one wants to be in an LDR indefinitely! Outline your future as much as you can now, because a lack of clarity here will lead you into serious trouble, and quickly.
Establish Trust (and keep it)
Trusting your partner is one of the most important things you can do in a long distance relationship. You both still need to maintain your own social lives, and you need to trust that your partner is doing the right thing. (Innocent until proven guilty ring a bell?) Odds are, you probably haven’t met all of their friends and co-workers, and we all make new friends as time goes on, right? It does not necessarily mean that any new friend of the opposite sex is interested in them, so take some deep breaths and remember why they chose YOU! They also need to give you that same amount of trust in return, because jealously and mistrust are a surefire ticket to splits Ville.
Schedule, Schedule, Schedule!
Living in two different cities (and sometimes different time zones) makes scheduling time together of the utmost importance. Whether its by phone, Skype, email, or actual visits, you and your partner need to agree on times that work for you both and stick to them as best you can. Obviously, there will be sometimes when a scheduled Skype call just isn’t possible, and be understanding of that, unless it starts to become a pattern. Some ideas to set up could include:
Avoid Outside Influences
I cannot stress the importance of this enough: don’t let outsiders influence any of your decisions or opinions on your relationship. Many people cringe when they hear the term ‘long-distance relationship’, a lot of times because they ARE so difficult to keep going. But just because it didn’t work for some people, doesn’t mean it wont work for others. Only you know how much effort you are willing to put into the relationship, and how long you are willing to be in a long distance relationship. Do not let anyone try to tell you what’s best for you, or your partner.
There are a myriad of reasons why long-distance relationships are more visible and common nowadays; more and more people are traveling for work and school, as well as the increased popularity of online relationships. The problem with these, though is how much more difficult it can be to maintain and build upon. Often times, people do not realize just how valuable it can be to have your partner right in front of you during serious discussions, or next to you at night while sleeping. A long distance relationship requires serious commitment and determination to make it work.
Set your Relationship Expectations
One thing that can be the source of a lot of disagreements and confusion is the level of commitment in the relationship. It is important that you both sit down and discuss your expectations before making any kind of decisions about the relationship. Both partners need to be on the same page as to whether you are in a serious, committed relationship, dating, friends with benefits, or casual and non-exclusive. Also, set a deadline of sorts, as to how long you will maintain the long distance. No one wants to be in an LDR indefinitely! Outline your future as much as you can now, because a lack of clarity here will lead you into serious trouble, and quickly.
Establish Trust (and keep it)
Trusting your partner is one of the most important things you can do in a long distance relationship. You both still need to maintain your own social lives, and you need to trust that your partner is doing the right thing. (Innocent until proven guilty ring a bell?) Odds are, you probably haven’t met all of their friends and co-workers, and we all make new friends as time goes on, right? It does not necessarily mean that any new friend of the opposite sex is interested in them, so take some deep breaths and remember why they chose YOU! They also need to give you that same amount of trust in return, because jealously and mistrust are a surefire ticket to splits Ville.
Schedule, Schedule, Schedule!
Living in two different cities (and sometimes different time zones) makes scheduling time together of the utmost importance. Whether its by phone, Skype, email, or actual visits, you and your partner need to agree on times that work for you both and stick to them as best you can. Obviously, there will be sometimes when a scheduled Skype call just isn’t possible, and be understanding of that, unless it starts to become a pattern. Some ideas to set up could include:
- Weekly Skype chats
- Visits every 1-3 months, alternating who goes where to save money for you both
- Phone movie dates – you both agree on a movie to watch and either watch it by phone together, or schedule a call for afterwards to talk about it
- Use good old fashioned snail mail to send each other letters and tokens once a month that can be keepsakes later
- Surprise them with your visit! Don’t tell them you are coming and enlist any of their friends or family to help make it happen
Avoid Outside Influences
I cannot stress the importance of this enough: don’t let outsiders influence any of your decisions or opinions on your relationship. Many people cringe when they hear the term ‘long-distance relationship’, a lot of times because they ARE so difficult to keep going. But just because it didn’t work for some people, doesn’t mean it wont work for others. Only you know how much effort you are willing to put into the relationship, and how long you are willing to be in a long distance relationship. Do not let anyone try to tell you what’s best for you, or your partner.
Friday, 25 July 2014
Lachido Making Living Together Work
Once the honeymoon is over, the typical things co-habituating couples fight about have to deal with money and sex. However, when you live with someone and are comfortable with them, you can begin to bicker about the small things and that can put a damper on the romance and passion you need in order to survive the relationship.
Here are some key dating tips and triggers for silly fights between lovers who live together:
Battling Over The Remote Control
There definitely needs to be some kind of form of compromising when it comes to remote control power struggles. Women fight to watch their pointless reality shows. Men watch to see their team attempt to win the Stanley Cup. However, when you are both fighting over monopolizing the TV, simply get PVR and call it a day.
The Deadly Dutch Oven Rule
Remember the first time you passed gas in front of your partner? Remember how funny it was at the time? Well, months or years into your relationship that changes one’s views of farting in bed. You get angry when it happens instead. Even if you try enforcing a “no farting in bed” rule, it’s impossible to maintain. Your partner may fart while they sleep or maybe they ate fast food that night. So unless it’s intentional, you should just hold your breath until the gas passes.
The Fight Over Getting Ready To Go Out
It’s rare that both partners in a relationship take the same amount of time to get ready when they have to go out. The man can usually get ready in less than five minutes, while the woman seems to take forever. This only leads to fighting because the man usually starts nagging the woman to hurry up. Unfortunately that sets up the mood for the night. To avoid this, set a deadline right off the bat. So if your partner needs to be ready for 6pm, say 5:30–that way you won’t be late and will leave right at 6pm.
The Feud Over The Thermostat
Men like it colder and women like it hotter. It’s not really a scientific fact, but I’m just going by statistics. However, if you have to pay hydro, then the women who are constantly cold should layer up instead of adding more to the bill. Not only is it better for the environment, it’s also better for your relationship.
The Assembling Furniture Argument
Have you ever tried to assemble furniture from IKEA with a significant other? Did your relationship survive the fight afterward? Couples should never, ever attempt to assemble furniture together–plain and simple. Flip a coin and assemble the furniture in two separate rooms.
Everyone who lives with their partner can relate to these issues. Try to avoid pointless fighting that can cause stain on your relationship by flipping these problems around to make your environment a more loveable place to live.
Here are some key dating tips and triggers for silly fights between lovers who live together:
Battling Over The Remote Control
There definitely needs to be some kind of form of compromising when it comes to remote control power struggles. Women fight to watch their pointless reality shows. Men watch to see their team attempt to win the Stanley Cup. However, when you are both fighting over monopolizing the TV, simply get PVR and call it a day.
The Deadly Dutch Oven Rule
Remember the first time you passed gas in front of your partner? Remember how funny it was at the time? Well, months or years into your relationship that changes one’s views of farting in bed. You get angry when it happens instead. Even if you try enforcing a “no farting in bed” rule, it’s impossible to maintain. Your partner may fart while they sleep or maybe they ate fast food that night. So unless it’s intentional, you should just hold your breath until the gas passes.
The Fight Over Getting Ready To Go Out
It’s rare that both partners in a relationship take the same amount of time to get ready when they have to go out. The man can usually get ready in less than five minutes, while the woman seems to take forever. This only leads to fighting because the man usually starts nagging the woman to hurry up. Unfortunately that sets up the mood for the night. To avoid this, set a deadline right off the bat. So if your partner needs to be ready for 6pm, say 5:30–that way you won’t be late and will leave right at 6pm.
The Feud Over The Thermostat
Men like it colder and women like it hotter. It’s not really a scientific fact, but I’m just going by statistics. However, if you have to pay hydro, then the women who are constantly cold should layer up instead of adding more to the bill. Not only is it better for the environment, it’s also better for your relationship.
The Assembling Furniture Argument
Have you ever tried to assemble furniture from IKEA with a significant other? Did your relationship survive the fight afterward? Couples should never, ever attempt to assemble furniture together–plain and simple. Flip a coin and assemble the furniture in two separate rooms.
Everyone who lives with their partner can relate to these issues. Try to avoid pointless fighting that can cause stain on your relationship by flipping these problems around to make your environment a more loveable place to live.
Thursday, 26 June 2014
Lachido Which Men To Avoid Dating
The “Kevin Federlines” - Men To Avoid Dating - no. 1
How to spot him: thugged out clothes, cap, chains, Playboy bunny logo is on him somewhere, usually smells like marijuana and Cool Water cologne
Why he is bad for you? This guy is only interested in what you have. Either it’s a ride, your own apartment (because he probably lives with mommy and daddy) He’s also got at least 3 mistresses or baby mamas under his belt. (They’re the ones who call when you’re together and he just ignores their calls) He thinks he’s black, when in most cases, he’s not. Lacks any empathy, career ambition, and any chance of staying true to you. (Unless it’s the winter…but come spring, watch out!) He’s most likely a nympho and he’s also trying to make money the fastest way possible…Do I need to explain further?
Why Women Think They’re Attracted to Him: Charming, popular, and a great kisser
Where he’ll most likely lurk: Bus terminals, passenger side of his buddy’s car, a club, the mall. (most likely the food court)
“The Reggie Mantles” - Men To Avoid Dating - no. 2
How to Spot him: He’s an amazing dresser, he’s got a distinctive walk, smells great, hair is flawless, and you can follow the glances of the gawking girls..
Why he is bad for you? This guy is so conceited and thinks he’s the best. He brags about all the attention he gets and is most likely very superficial. If you don’t look up to par one day in his standards, he will let you know immediately. If you’re walking in the mall with him and get checked out by another guy, he’s the kind of guy who will accuse that of being a homosexual and checking him out instead. He will break your esteem faster than Simon Cowell could. He’s got millions of pictures of himself, pictures of flawless models in his room which he uses as a guideline for his women, his BBM names are always big and bold saying phrases like “I’M THE KING” and you are most likely only a trophy to him.
Why Girls Think They’re Attracted to Him: We mistake his vanity for confidence, his smile, and our own shallowness gets the best of us
Where he’ll most likely lurk: Anywhere where there’s a huge mirror, or anything that shows a reflection, he usually hangs out with his posse of ugly friends that make him look better at clubs, bars, or malls…basically anywhere where women can gawk at him.
Mr. Casanova - Men To Avoid Dating - no. 3
How to Spot Him: He is every girl’s definition of the perfect man. His eyes twinkle, he’s got dimples, an amazing memory, and his smile can make you faint. He also may be someone quite popular and well known. Maybe a musician or actor. He meets you and he seems to ignore every other gawking girl. He seems to only have eyes for you……or so you think.
Why he is bad for you? Girls, we are all guilty of doing this…one time or another falling for a guy who seems to be hopelessly in love with us. Isn’t it funny how he seems so in love from the moment you meet? He takes you to this perfect restaurant, a perfect place to look at the stars, and gives you your favourite flower? He asks personal details about you and manipulates you in to thinking he wants to get serious…you give it up…and then you never hear from him again. Girls, if he seems too good to be true–especially at the beginning,it’s probably because he’s working his angle on you. These guys are sleaze. They are the greatest actors for they’re not scared of holding your hand right away, PDA, or telling you they love you. Also do not mistake their amazing memory for proof that they are really listening to everything you say…they are simply retaining that info to regurgitate to you at one point to help get you in the sack as soon as they possibly can. (and it’s usually quite soon!) You are not his one and only. You are a conquest…one of many. This guy can cause a lot of damage. SO watch out!
Why girls are attracted to him: Not only is he charming, and smooth, and suave…but he makes a girl feel special..he also makes her feel special that he chose her. He seems to have all the qualities girls look for in a man.
Where he will most likely lurk: The young ones who are new to the game will go to places where they can easily meet girls. School, clubs, malls, bars. The more experienced ones will go to weddings, (yes, Wedding Crashers is not complete fiction!) friend’s parties, bookstores/libraries, coffeeshops, grocery stores
Mr. Mama’s Boy or Mr. Sensitivity - Men To Avoid Dating - no. 4
How to Spot him: He’s an indoor kind of guy…you may hardly spot him outside of school, work, or functions. He strikes you as the sweetest guy in the world….Loves his family with a passion. He most likely lives at home.
Why is he bad for you? If he’s a mama’s boy, GIVE IT UP IMMEDIATELY. First of all, you’ll never be good enough for your man in his mother’s eyes and his mother’s opinion is HOLY to him. He’ll most likely be bound to her for life, or she will most likely be living with you if you two were to ever get married! LEAVE!! You’re always going to be number 2 to him. Why is a sensitive man bad for you? Girls always dream of a man with sensitivity,but most times if they display it as much as we do, they’re probably a little TOO soft. He cries at every sad movie, He gets mad if you don’t call on a regular basis, he’s clingy, he tells you he wants to “make love” to you..(Cheeseball alert!!) He sometimes cries after he orgasms, and he’s a cuddler–and not because YOU like to cuddle. He may be emotionally available to you, but he’s usually makes himself WAY Too available. He will bring down your libido and make you long for the days when you dated bad boys.
Why Girls are Attracted to him:-He seems caring, empathetic, sweet, and a great listener.
Where he most likely lurks: Usually always on Facebook (homebody), or the self help section in the bookstore
“The Frasier Cranes” - Men To Avoid Dating - no. 5
How to Spot him: He’s very intellectual, most likely has glasses, and carries his laptop around with him where ever he goes. If you don’t run in his circle, he won’t notice you.
Why is he bad for you? This guy is a KNOW IT ALL…or at least he thinks he knows it all….and guess what? He likes to think he knows EVERYTHING about you. He likes to analyze you, and pick you apart. Basically he tells you why you are the way you are (i.e. Why you are screwed up) and tries to “Fix” you like you are actually broken. Not only that, but he thinks he knows more than YOU. He’s certain he’s smarter, and let’s you know that on a regular basis. He usually brags about his I.Q. and whatever you say, he will debate with you to no end just to prove you are wrong and he is right. This guy will drive you crazy and if your esteem is low, he may also brainwash you into thinking you are neurotic and borderline stupid.
Why girls are attracted to him: His brains and his glasses.
Where he most likely lurks: Arthouse theaters, Starbucks with his laptop, libraries, bookstores
MR. BIGS - Men To Avoid Dating - no. 6
How to Spot him: He is an established, hard working man. He’s charming, confident, not vain and very grown up. He has a style and personality that is unlike anybody else by far. He is the man you will fall hopelessly in love with.
Why he is bad for you? This online relationship list wouldn’t be complete without the addition of Mr. Big. This man is not an jerk on purpose. He is a great friend and a great lover but he’s never going to be emotionally available to you. He keeps you at a distance, be it he had his heart broken, too many bad experiences, or other priorities in his life. Time spent with him will always be enjoyable, yet the thought of a long term relationship scares the living daylights out of him. You won’t meet his family. He won’t want to meet yours. As soon as you make yourself emotionally available to him, he will bail. He will always come back, but he’ll never give himself to you completely.
Why girls are attracted to him: His style, his voice, the way he presents himself.
Where he most likely lurks: Unfortunately, anywhere is possible…
How to spot him: thugged out clothes, cap, chains, Playboy bunny logo is on him somewhere, usually smells like marijuana and Cool Water cologne
Why he is bad for you? This guy is only interested in what you have. Either it’s a ride, your own apartment (because he probably lives with mommy and daddy) He’s also got at least 3 mistresses or baby mamas under his belt. (They’re the ones who call when you’re together and he just ignores their calls) He thinks he’s black, when in most cases, he’s not. Lacks any empathy, career ambition, and any chance of staying true to you. (Unless it’s the winter…but come spring, watch out!) He’s most likely a nympho and he’s also trying to make money the fastest way possible…Do I need to explain further?
Why Women Think They’re Attracted to Him: Charming, popular, and a great kisser
Where he’ll most likely lurk: Bus terminals, passenger side of his buddy’s car, a club, the mall. (most likely the food court)
“The Reggie Mantles” - Men To Avoid Dating - no. 2
How to Spot him: He’s an amazing dresser, he’s got a distinctive walk, smells great, hair is flawless, and you can follow the glances of the gawking girls..
Why he is bad for you? This guy is so conceited and thinks he’s the best. He brags about all the attention he gets and is most likely very superficial. If you don’t look up to par one day in his standards, he will let you know immediately. If you’re walking in the mall with him and get checked out by another guy, he’s the kind of guy who will accuse that of being a homosexual and checking him out instead. He will break your esteem faster than Simon Cowell could. He’s got millions of pictures of himself, pictures of flawless models in his room which he uses as a guideline for his women, his BBM names are always big and bold saying phrases like “I’M THE KING” and you are most likely only a trophy to him.
Why Girls Think They’re Attracted to Him: We mistake his vanity for confidence, his smile, and our own shallowness gets the best of us
Where he’ll most likely lurk: Anywhere where there’s a huge mirror, or anything that shows a reflection, he usually hangs out with his posse of ugly friends that make him look better at clubs, bars, or malls…basically anywhere where women can gawk at him.
Mr. Casanova - Men To Avoid Dating - no. 3
How to Spot Him: He is every girl’s definition of the perfect man. His eyes twinkle, he’s got dimples, an amazing memory, and his smile can make you faint. He also may be someone quite popular and well known. Maybe a musician or actor. He meets you and he seems to ignore every other gawking girl. He seems to only have eyes for you……or so you think.
Why he is bad for you? Girls, we are all guilty of doing this…one time or another falling for a guy who seems to be hopelessly in love with us. Isn’t it funny how he seems so in love from the moment you meet? He takes you to this perfect restaurant, a perfect place to look at the stars, and gives you your favourite flower? He asks personal details about you and manipulates you in to thinking he wants to get serious…you give it up…and then you never hear from him again. Girls, if he seems too good to be true–especially at the beginning,it’s probably because he’s working his angle on you. These guys are sleaze. They are the greatest actors for they’re not scared of holding your hand right away, PDA, or telling you they love you. Also do not mistake their amazing memory for proof that they are really listening to everything you say…they are simply retaining that info to regurgitate to you at one point to help get you in the sack as soon as they possibly can. (and it’s usually quite soon!) You are not his one and only. You are a conquest…one of many. This guy can cause a lot of damage. SO watch out!
Why girls are attracted to him: Not only is he charming, and smooth, and suave…but he makes a girl feel special..he also makes her feel special that he chose her. He seems to have all the qualities girls look for in a man.
Where he will most likely lurk: The young ones who are new to the game will go to places where they can easily meet girls. School, clubs, malls, bars. The more experienced ones will go to weddings, (yes, Wedding Crashers is not complete fiction!) friend’s parties, bookstores/libraries, coffeeshops, grocery stores
Mr. Mama’s Boy or Mr. Sensitivity - Men To Avoid Dating - no. 4
How to Spot him: He’s an indoor kind of guy…you may hardly spot him outside of school, work, or functions. He strikes you as the sweetest guy in the world….Loves his family with a passion. He most likely lives at home.
Why is he bad for you? If he’s a mama’s boy, GIVE IT UP IMMEDIATELY. First of all, you’ll never be good enough for your man in his mother’s eyes and his mother’s opinion is HOLY to him. He’ll most likely be bound to her for life, or she will most likely be living with you if you two were to ever get married! LEAVE!! You’re always going to be number 2 to him. Why is a sensitive man bad for you? Girls always dream of a man with sensitivity,but most times if they display it as much as we do, they’re probably a little TOO soft. He cries at every sad movie, He gets mad if you don’t call on a regular basis, he’s clingy, he tells you he wants to “make love” to you..(Cheeseball alert!!) He sometimes cries after he orgasms, and he’s a cuddler–and not because YOU like to cuddle. He may be emotionally available to you, but he’s usually makes himself WAY Too available. He will bring down your libido and make you long for the days when you dated bad boys.
Why Girls are Attracted to him:-He seems caring, empathetic, sweet, and a great listener.
Where he most likely lurks: Usually always on Facebook (homebody), or the self help section in the bookstore
“The Frasier Cranes” - Men To Avoid Dating - no. 5
How to Spot him: He’s very intellectual, most likely has glasses, and carries his laptop around with him where ever he goes. If you don’t run in his circle, he won’t notice you.
Why is he bad for you? This guy is a KNOW IT ALL…or at least he thinks he knows it all….and guess what? He likes to think he knows EVERYTHING about you. He likes to analyze you, and pick you apart. Basically he tells you why you are the way you are (i.e. Why you are screwed up) and tries to “Fix” you like you are actually broken. Not only that, but he thinks he knows more than YOU. He’s certain he’s smarter, and let’s you know that on a regular basis. He usually brags about his I.Q. and whatever you say, he will debate with you to no end just to prove you are wrong and he is right. This guy will drive you crazy and if your esteem is low, he may also brainwash you into thinking you are neurotic and borderline stupid.
Why girls are attracted to him: His brains and his glasses.
Where he most likely lurks: Arthouse theaters, Starbucks with his laptop, libraries, bookstores
MR. BIGS - Men To Avoid Dating - no. 6
How to Spot him: He is an established, hard working man. He’s charming, confident, not vain and very grown up. He has a style and personality that is unlike anybody else by far. He is the man you will fall hopelessly in love with.
Why he is bad for you? This online relationship list wouldn’t be complete without the addition of Mr. Big. This man is not an jerk on purpose. He is a great friend and a great lover but he’s never going to be emotionally available to you. He keeps you at a distance, be it he had his heart broken, too many bad experiences, or other priorities in his life. Time spent with him will always be enjoyable, yet the thought of a long term relationship scares the living daylights out of him. You won’t meet his family. He won’t want to meet yours. As soon as you make yourself emotionally available to him, he will bail. He will always come back, but he’ll never give himself to you completely.
Why girls are attracted to him: His style, his voice, the way he presents himself.
Where he most likely lurks: Unfortunately, anywhere is possible…
Monday, 26 May 2014
Lachido The Appeal of a Bad Boy
The Appeal of a Bad Boy
What is it that makes a bad boy so appealing? Whether it’s just a movie character, or a guy in real life, we’ve all fallen for a bad boy at some point in our dating lives. But why do we like them?
Are there different types of bad guys, and if so, can they all be rehabilitated, or are they lost causes?
The Types:
There tend to be two basic types of bad boy, Redeemable and Irredeemable.
A lot of these men tend to be hardened bachelors, with no intention of ever getting married.
The redeemable ones are the ones who hold the most promise, but let’s save those for later.
Here are some of the typical types of Irredeemable Bad Boys:
Players: You know this type, you and your friends have probably dated more than your fair share. It’s all about the ‘game’ for them, and how many pieces of ass they can run at the same time without getting caught. And, before you try to interject, YES, these types will ONLY see you as a piece of ass, and nothing more. If you aren’t looking for anything exclusive or long term either, you’ll be a great match!
Mooches: These are the guys who conveniently misplace their wallets whenever you go to dinner, or come over for a dinner date and eat and drink your entire weeks worth of groceries. These are also the guys who will try to do their laundry at your place to save money because his laundry room is ‘under renovation.’ Avoid these ones at all costs, or you’ll end up blowing through your savings faster than a fat kid eating cake.
Hustlers: These guys only care about making a quick buck, and will throw even their loved ones under the bus to get it. If you choose to be with this type, never let him into your wallet, or see you Social Insurance Number. He will only make sacrifices if he gets something in return, that’s usually worth more that what you got. How can you tell he’s a hustler? He always seems to have excess cash to blow and numerous credit cards (most likely under different names).
Abusive: These are by far the most dangerous of all. They will initially be the sweetest, most sensitive,perfect guys you could imagine. Over time, they will gradually become manipulative emotionally and/or physically, and will see nothing wrong with their actions.
Redeemable Bad Boys are the types you tend to see in the movies, and aren’t really found often in real life. Think Danny in Grease, Johnny in Dirty Dancing, and Sebastian in Cruel Intentions. They are technically bad boys with bed reputations, but something (usually a female) causes them to see the error of their ways and try to make amends by the end of the film. This is part of the reason so many women love bad boys, they feel they can change them, and offer them some sort of redemption to become the man they are supposedly capable of. Don’t fall for it! These types of men are VERY few and VERY far between.
Why We Like Them:
It may seem obvious, that bad guys would not be good for us, but there’s something about them that makes women swoon. The reason they tend to win out over the nice guys is that the bad boys are assertive, confident and outgoing. They will never hesitate to make the first move, or worry about what people will think of anything they say. He will maintain his confidence regardless of whatever anyone else says, and that’s a major turn on. The nice guys that get friend zoned are usually the ones who value the other person’s feelings to the point that they will hesitate to act, in fear of hurting someone. Being a people pleaser just leads to being walked all over, and that’s never an attractive quality. Trust me, we will take advantage of that.
To get the girl, guys need to walk a fine line between the nice guy and the bad boy. It takes time, practice and skill to master, but once you do, you are gold! Toss out the complacency and replace it with some confidence and assertiveness. Don’t be afraid to make a move, and don’t let women walk all over you. Fake confidence if you need to!
And for women, the bottom line is that you can’t simply win these guys over, they have to want to change. If they don’t see anything wrong with their behavior, then run, don’t walk!
What is it that makes a bad boy so appealing? Whether it’s just a movie character, or a guy in real life, we’ve all fallen for a bad boy at some point in our dating lives. But why do we like them?
Are there different types of bad guys, and if so, can they all be rehabilitated, or are they lost causes?
The Types:
There tend to be two basic types of bad boy, Redeemable and Irredeemable.
A lot of these men tend to be hardened bachelors, with no intention of ever getting married.
The redeemable ones are the ones who hold the most promise, but let’s save those for later.
Here are some of the typical types of Irredeemable Bad Boys:
Players: You know this type, you and your friends have probably dated more than your fair share. It’s all about the ‘game’ for them, and how many pieces of ass they can run at the same time without getting caught. And, before you try to interject, YES, these types will ONLY see you as a piece of ass, and nothing more. If you aren’t looking for anything exclusive or long term either, you’ll be a great match!
Mooches: These are the guys who conveniently misplace their wallets whenever you go to dinner, or come over for a dinner date and eat and drink your entire weeks worth of groceries. These are also the guys who will try to do their laundry at your place to save money because his laundry room is ‘under renovation.’ Avoid these ones at all costs, or you’ll end up blowing through your savings faster than a fat kid eating cake.
Hustlers: These guys only care about making a quick buck, and will throw even their loved ones under the bus to get it. If you choose to be with this type, never let him into your wallet, or see you Social Insurance Number. He will only make sacrifices if he gets something in return, that’s usually worth more that what you got. How can you tell he’s a hustler? He always seems to have excess cash to blow and numerous credit cards (most likely under different names).
Abusive: These are by far the most dangerous of all. They will initially be the sweetest, most sensitive,perfect guys you could imagine. Over time, they will gradually become manipulative emotionally and/or physically, and will see nothing wrong with their actions.
Redeemable Bad Boys are the types you tend to see in the movies, and aren’t really found often in real life. Think Danny in Grease, Johnny in Dirty Dancing, and Sebastian in Cruel Intentions. They are technically bad boys with bed reputations, but something (usually a female) causes them to see the error of their ways and try to make amends by the end of the film. This is part of the reason so many women love bad boys, they feel they can change them, and offer them some sort of redemption to become the man they are supposedly capable of. Don’t fall for it! These types of men are VERY few and VERY far between.
Why We Like Them:
It may seem obvious, that bad guys would not be good for us, but there’s something about them that makes women swoon. The reason they tend to win out over the nice guys is that the bad boys are assertive, confident and outgoing. They will never hesitate to make the first move, or worry about what people will think of anything they say. He will maintain his confidence regardless of whatever anyone else says, and that’s a major turn on. The nice guys that get friend zoned are usually the ones who value the other person’s feelings to the point that they will hesitate to act, in fear of hurting someone. Being a people pleaser just leads to being walked all over, and that’s never an attractive quality. Trust me, we will take advantage of that.
To get the girl, guys need to walk a fine line between the nice guy and the bad boy. It takes time, practice and skill to master, but once you do, you are gold! Toss out the complacency and replace it with some confidence and assertiveness. Don’t be afraid to make a move, and don’t let women walk all over you. Fake confidence if you need to!
And for women, the bottom line is that you can’t simply win these guys over, they have to want to change. If they don’t see anything wrong with their behavior, then run, don’t walk!
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