A healthy relationship will always have disagreements. If you aren’t arguing at all, then you should be worried. But how much arguing is too much?
When should we cut our losses and move on? It’s never as simple as that, especially when you still love the person.
There are, however, some telltale signs that your relationship is entering the danger zone.
One of the biggest signs of a relationship in danger is constant bickering.
If you notice that you have been fighting a lot more than usual, take a few minutes to figure out the nature of the fights.
Are they legitimate, or do they all seem kind of petty?
It could be that you and you partner are getting fed up, and those little quirks that you once enjoyed about each other are now acting like salt in a wound.
If you notice that’s how most of your fights seem to be, try talking to your partner and see if you can both agree to go one week without fighting.
If you can’t, or don’t even try, then it might be time to consider ending it.
Are you still spending quality time together?
It’s one thing to have a bit of space, but if you are seeing each other significantly less than you were in the best days of the relationship and
there’s no reason behind it (i.e. work, family obligations) then you are headed for trouble.
The gap will only continue to widen, and the relationship will eventually die out.
If you want to fix it though, try dedicating one night a week to just the two of you and do something together that you both enjoy.
It will not only be relaxing (as you both enjoy the activity), but it will also help to remind each other why you fell in love to begin with.
Difficulty keeping the past in the past is another warning sign.
If you cant stop bringing up past arguments (or issues from the past you haven’t brought up before), you might want to look at why you still keep mentioning them.
Did you feel those issues were left unresolved? If so, you need to tell your partner at a time other than the current fight.
If the issues were resolved, could it be that you are just trying to add fuel to the fire? Once you’ve dealt with an issue,
it shouldn’t be brought up again. If you are doing this, its a symptom of a greater problem, because barring serious issues (i.e. cheating)
it shouldn’t be that hard to forgive and forget with the person you love. If you are unable to do that with them, it may be time to end it.
Can you look at them, or talk to friends about them without curling your upper lip in a snarl? In a previous relationship,
what I had assumed to be a rough patch was shown to be much worse when a family friend noted my facial expression when I was venting over a recent argument.
The fact that my face had become precariously close to a full-on snarl made me stop and think. Should I even be making this face about someone I care about?
I started to realize that not only did I constantly bitch about him to friends, but I was also having increasing trouble maintaining eye contact with him.
I realized that it wasn’t fair to either of us to keep going, when we both deserved someone who would be more compatible with our personalities.
The main sign you should worry about in your relationship? If either of you have been thinking about what it would be like if the relationship ended, or how it would feel to not be encumbered by the other person anymore. If you start feeling like your partner is more of a hindrance than a help to you, its time to move on
